Tuesday, January 22, 2013

It's complicated

Nearly one year later and I am still in disbelief. Tonight I am saddened with the toll Cancer pushes on our family emotionally. 

It is such a rollercoaster. At times I feel we are all on the same ride fighting  together, yet the things we see and feel are completely different. 

Emotionally it has pushed relationships to a breaking point, ready to snap it right in half. It has made us question every decision and then turn on each other to question each others choices and thoughts. I am sickened by the destruction it can slowly cause but quickly build. Emotionally, mentally, physically, spiritually I am drained. We all are, but we keep pressing on because it is the only option we will accept. 

At Times during this trial I  have felt closer to my husband and family then I ever thought possible. I have come to realize that goes both ways. At times I feel I don't even know the person I have been married to for nearly 14 years because this is tearing us apart. 


I can't describe how good it feels to know that we are near an end to one of the most difficult parts. We live each day to watch Tristan succeed, fight and thrive. We live each day to see his brother do the same, because this fight is personal for him as well. 

I thank my Father in Heaven for a faith that I know I can get on my knees and pray and he is right there with me listening, crying and carrying my family through these times. 


It is not easy. It just plain stinks. I hate most of what has been happening and can't even begin to explain its complicated process. 

I do know that it will be ok because Tristan won't give up and that is that. 

Thank you Tristan for your strength, your spirit your unwavering  faith. It has been at your weakest moments that you carry our family through. 

I feel embarrassed and guilty for accepting financial assistance knowing that there are families struggling much more than ours. It is a burden it is unexpected but when is it a need? It's difficult to accept help when you feel you can do it on your own. It breaks my heart to know my husband carries this personally on his shoulders. Fathers want to provide for, care for and fix it, all themselves. My husband is no different just a bigger fix.  I respect and love that about him but acknowledge that we can't allow our pride to step on us and leave a bruise. I want to thank you for your generosity it has eased some of that burden. 


I'm just going to Thank you all for EVERY single way you have supported my family this past year. It is not something that I or we could ever repay. My love for people, other families and strangers has developed in ways that I can barely comprehend.

Thank you, Love you all.  I do ask  for continued support and prayers as we face the emotional and metal hole that we will now begin to fill .  Nobody ever said it would be easy but I do remember hearing it will be worth it! 

I can't wait to feel that worth again.

Tristan will ring that bell and he will have an army beside him as always for that I thank you. 



 to update soon. I have had a hard time writing about our daily life because I don't like to relive some of the events. :( There are some wonderful things happening though that I do need to share so I will get on top of that. 

For now if you would like to read about Tristan go to his Facebook page 

https://www.facebook.com/FightingTristansBoneCancer

8 comments:

  1. Psalms 8:2
    'out of the mouths of babes'-there is no doubt that some of our children are much older than us spiritually speaking. We would do well to listen and then follow their example. My Pa tells me that our Heavenly Father is much more interested in raising parents than He is in raising children. Thank you Tiff for sharing His advance cources that you have been given by our Loving Father. I love you and your fam. with love,Curtis Baugh

    ReplyDelete
  2. thank you very much for sharing this information with us.
    <a href="cancerconsultindia.com/bone-cancer/ ”>Bone Cancer doctor In noida</a>
    <a href=”cancerconsultindia.com/bone-cancer/ ”>Bone Cancer Consultant In noida</a>

    ReplyDelete
  3. It is no secret that I have a very deep and personal relationship with God. I have pushed and resisted that relationship this past year through all the bullshit I have had to go through living with Herpes but once again, God is bigger than my stubbornness and broke through that outbreak cold sore and all I had Genital Herpes. For me personally, hearing over and over how I am not good enough has really invaded my mind in the worst way possible. I completely shut down and I was just waking up like is this how life going to end this temporary herpes outbreak “fuck everybody with herpes if you know what I mean” but let's be honest here...
    It is a cowardly to say no to herbal medicine. It is fear based. And it is dishonest to what my heart wants. Don't build a wall around yourself because you are afraid of herbals made or taking a bold step especially when it's come to health issues and getting cure. So many young men/ women tell me over and over that Dr Itua is going to scam me but I give him a try to today I feel like no one will ever convince me about herbal medicine I accept Dr Itua herbal medicine because it's cure my herpes just two weeks of drinking it and i have been living for a year and months now I experience outbreak no more, You can contact him if you need his herbal medicine for any such diseases like, Herpes, Schizophrenia,Cancer,Scoliosis,Fibromyalgia,Fluoroquinolone Toxicity Syndrome Fibrodysplasia Ossificans Progressiva.Fatal Familial Insomnia Factor V Leiden Mutation ,Epilepsy Dupuytren's disease,Desmoplastic,Diabetes ,Coeliac disease,Creutzfeldt–Jakob,Dairies,Lyme Disease,Epilepsy, ,ALS,Hepatitis,Copd,Parkinson disease.Genetic disease,Fibrodysplasia disease,Fibrodysplasia Ossificans Men/Woman infertility, bowel disease ,Huntington's disease ,Diabetes,Fibroid. disease,Lupus,Lipoid Storage diseases( Gauchers disease),Polycystic Disease.,Cerebral Amyloid Angiopathy, Ataxia,Cirrhosis of Liver,Arthritis,Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis,Alzheimer's disease,Adrenocortical carcinoma.Asthma,Allergic,HIV, Epilepsy, Infertility, Love Spell,. Email..drituaherbalcenter@gmail.com then what's app.+2348149277967.... My advice to any sick men/women out there is simple... Be Always an open book. Be gut wrenching honest about yourself, your situation, and what you are all about. Don't hold anything back. Holding back will get you nowhere...maybe a one way ticket to lonelyville and that is NOT somewhere you want to be. So my final truth...and I'm just starting to grasp this one..

    ReplyDelete
  4. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Dr. Priya Tiwari is the best breast cancer doctor/specialist & oncologist in delhi, Gurugram and Gurgaon. She listen patient health issue very patiently.

    Breast Cancer Doctor in Delhi || Breast Cancer Treatment in Delhi || Medical Oncologist in Delhi || Chemotherapy in Delhi || Stomach Cancer Doctor in Delhi

    ReplyDelete